‘...the real relationship doesn’t depend on words…it depends on the capacity to be with.’  ~ Dr Gabor Mate.

When people find out that I offer sessions for people who are non-verbal or speak a different language to me they are often curious and have asked, ‘How does therapy work if you can’t speak the same language?

It’s such a valid question to ask and reveals so much about how we perceive communication. I think in many ways what helps the therapy to work so deeply is that we don’t need words.  In fact, sometimes I find that words can get in the way of what we are trying to express.  

The therapeutic relationship we build, as with many relationships, doesn’t depend on words, it depends on the capacity to really be, and be with a person.

Do you ever find yourself waking up earlier in the morning than you need to? Does it feel like a fear or some kind of anxiety about the day ahead? This happened to me the other day and instead of trying to encourage and coax myself back to sleep and even though it was freezing, I felt drawn by an inclination whisper me up and out of bed. I fumbled my way down the stairs as quietly as I could and made my way to the wood burner to start a fire. Soon I was watching the flames from the kindling lick at the unburnt logs of wood, tempting them to turn to light. Beautiful. Mesmerizing. I noticed myself anticipating that moment where the heat suddenly commits and by some kind of miracle ignites the logs as they catch fire. The room brightens and immediately I felt the warmth tangibly radiating on my face. I smiled and felt grateful.

I wondered, what if this waking was not anxiety about the day ahead at all? What if it was inspiration that was bubbling inside me that I had misinterpreted into anxiety? What if it was nature’s way of giving me more time to prepare myself for the challenges that lay ahead and to open myself up to receiving the miracles and wonder that lay before me. It reminded me of a beautiful quote by Rumi.

I sat there in front of the fire listening, being open to the moment, resting there giving my mind permission to slow, giving myself permission to just be a while.

So perhaps if this happens to you some day, where you wake up really early and you have the inclination to explore what the morning has to share with you,  then do and see what comes of it. Perhaps you have the opportunity to get up and go for a walk, or sit in your favourite chair with a cup of tea, or draw a picture, or pray and meditate, simply allow yourself to be a while before rushing into the day.

It is our instinct to survive. We spend so much of our lives trying to fit in to the world around us as best we can to survive. We are creative by nature and it is this creativity that enables us to learn and grow and adapt. Sometimes in order to fit in we end up trying to live up to other people’s expectations. This can leave us feeling numb to who we really are and insensitive to our true purpose. 

I believe, for us to live with passion and joy it is vital for us to spend time reconnecting with; our own true nature, the nature around us and with that which really inspires and moves us. By doing so we grow in confidence and find healthier ways of being. This is one of the many empowering benefits of therapy that I have witnessed in both my own journey and that of my clients' journeys.

We all have our ups and downs and roundabouts...

A few months ago, I was really struggling with my mood. I knew I needed to take the courage to reach out for support. Being someone who likes to help and be of support to others this can be an uncomfortable place to be in, and being fiercely independent this 'asking for help thing' is a constant lesson I am challenged to practice.

Sometimes when we reach out for help, help comes in a form clearer than we knew we needed it...so I encourage you to reach out for support when you need it.  Sometimes we should really be reaching out for support before we need it. Try where possible to have support in place in your life, it can make such a huge difference when you are feeling out of sorts.

Here is the support that I was blessed with in the form of a reminder from a dear friend of mine who sent me a snippet of a quote by Courtney A. Walsh:

"Dear Human:

You've got it all wrong.
You didn’t come here to master unconditional love. This is where you came from and where you'll return.

You came here to learn personal love.  Universal love.  Messy love.  Sweaty love.  Crazy love.  Broken love.  Whole love.  Infused with divinity.  Lived though the grace of stumbling.  Demonstrated through the beauty of messing up.  Often.

You didn't come here to be perfect, you already are.

You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous.
And rising again into remembering..."

I believe the quote continues, but these are the words I received and so I too shall end it there.

Although both my friend and I are not necessarily advocates for 'right' and 'wrong' there was something about the line, "...You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous...", that was so encouraging to me.

So yes, allow yourselves to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous. Rising again into remembering love.

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If you are feeling creative and would like to share a poem of your own with us, then please feel free to add it in the comments section below. You may feel inspired to do so at this point or some point in the future or perhaps add it in the message box in the contact section.  I welcome your creativity.